The Hmms.. hey could you pass the tea, please?

i'll remember u - part 2

2009-10-26T00:44:00.002+08:00

That was September 30th.

October 1st was good. I had fun with my dorm mates, who made excellent company. But my mind was adrift; there was nothing from the receptionist.

Eventually I told my mates about bus boy. B & J were confident that I would bump into him again, since the town was so small anyways, but I wasn't so sure. I mean, he could have left by now. He did say he wasn't gonna stay for long.

In any case, I was just enjoying my stay, and I planned on having a blast for the many days to come, with or without him.
*******
October 2nd, evening. 8pm

F changes into a fresh shirt, getting ready to meet his date. "What are you gonna do?" he asks.

"Well, I dunno..." I contemplate the possibilities in my head.

"You know, sometimes you have to put in some effort. Fate only does so much - the rest is up to you!" F urges. We laugh, because we both know it's so true.

"But I dunno his name. I don't even know where to start!"

I'm exasperated. But I wanna do something.

"Ok fine, F. You shall go for your date, and I shall go hunt for mine!" And I stand up, ready for a stroll. We smile at each other before we say our goodbyes and good luck's.

October 2nd, evening. 8.30pm

I come back to the hostel, defeated. There are many other guesthouses in the area, as I expected. Which one is he in?

I decide to try the receptionist. (But to be honest, I'm not hopefully at all.) I ask the sweet lady if there's a guesthouse nearby, and affirming what I already know, she says that there are a few in the area. We talk further, and I tell her about my search for a friend I know nothing about.

Crap, I thought.

"But hey, there's one guesthouse that we are in contact with. We send our guests there sometimes. I can try to give them a call, see if your friend is there. Do you know his name?" she inquires.

"Hmm nope. Just that he's mixed and he's from ... " (Well obviously the details were more detailed but I'm omitting them here.)

She dials for the hostel, and asks for a guy fitting the description I gave; I don't stop biting my lip. Then she nods toward me.

"REALLY?!" My eyes bulge and I'm in absolute disbelief. Oh my god, what are the odds?

She hangs up (sweet lady!), and writes me the address of the guesthouse, adding some brief directions. Apparently, the other receptionist also said that he returns late usually, and that he is going to leave real early the next day. (Bummer.)

I thank her profusely, and head up to grab my bag. While heading out, I see V, a lady I befriended just an hour before, and asks if she will like to take a walk. She agrees spontaneously, and we head out. I'm feeling heady already.

As we walk, I share everything with her.

October 2nd, evening. 9.00pm ++

V and I return to the hostel, feeling accomplished from the stroll, though we didn't manage to find the guesthouse.

"Never mind, V. It's no big deal," I told her earlier.

"No! You can't give up! You must look for him," she tried to convince me. I laughed. She was a real cheerleader.

"It's okay. You've walked long enough with me. I feel bad! Let's just head back. See, if we're meant to meet, we will. Something will happen that'll make that come true, somehow," I rationalised, but I wasn't feeling as confident as I sounded, that was for sure.

So here we are, trying to settle down, getting ready for our little chat session complete with orange juice.

"Oh wait, V. I totally forgot. I need to use the net for a while. Some reservations I have to re-confirm by today, I'm sorry," I tell her.

"No problem," she replies. She decides to take a shower first.

I sit myself at the shared computer booth, and start sending an email to my next hostel destination. While typing halfway, I hear someone enter the door, and start speaking to the receptionist, whom I'm back-facing.

"Hi, is there a girl from _____ staying in this hostel?" he asks. (Again, I'm dropping the specifics.)

Momentarily, it doesn't register. I'm sure i'm the only girl from my country in this entire hostel, but I don't think things can be this good... or can they?

"Yeah she's right there," she replies.

3 seconds pass. He stands next to me. "Hello," he says, smiling.

Oh my god kill me right now.

"Hello!"

********
October 3rd, 1am ++

We hung out and had a great time. I like him even more than before. Especially when he laughs. He's funny, not in the traditional funny sense, but he's funny. I think he's funny because he doesn't even try to be funny. Sometimes he sounds like an old wise man, and it cracks me up. He has a good heart. Behind his almost-serious disposition, what with his fact-listing about cars and countries, and his philosophies and beliefs, there is a hint of cheekiness. Subtle. Dormant?

We exchange email adds and a hug. I do hope we'll meet again.

'Cos I'll really like to know you better.

The end.

i'll remember u - part 1

2009-10-25T01:37:00.005+08:00

Great, I think. Just great.

First some guy snatches my luggage away from me and demands money, and now the train isn't budging. And it has been that way for the last two hours or so. The passenger across me sighs in exasperation, and we continue chatting anyway.

Then it hits me - I'm never gonna reach the train station in time.

"Shucks, I have to make a phone call. I'm so dead," I tell him. And bingo! Turns out I was right, no idiot-proof pick-up service at the train station after 8pm. By the looks of this immobile train, I'll be lucky if I get there at all. But no, there is no way I'll be there before 9pm. I brace myself mentally for all the dangers I'm going to expose myself to, en route to the only safe haven I know in this foreign land. Who knows what lurks in the dark?

Great.
****
Finally. It was a torturous 3 hours. And here I am, weary and crabby, luggage in tow. The floor is glistening from the slight drizzle, the air a cool misty comfort.

I take it all in, and ask around for the directions to the bus-stop. I'm trying hard to make sense of the scribbling on my notebook - which bus to take, which direction, where to stop.

Okay, I can do this.

So I march, determined, and park myself in front of the bus stop. And I wait. The rain hits lightly, and gradually, it stops.

Then my bus arrives. My heart leaps when I recognise the number on the front. Thank you so much, I utter, a silent prayer of thanks to my guardian angel. Phew.

I drag my luggage up the bus, and survey around for the ticket machine I read about in the guidebook.

"Oh there it is," I say to myself, and inch over to the centre. Someone else is trying hard to punch his ticket too, so I guess I'm not the only traveller.

But he isn't very successful, it seems. I try my luck with the machine, too.

The lady at the front interjects this sad scene, telling us that the bus driver has turned the bus engine off and gone for a little break. Or something. At least this is what I think.

But, oh.

This is when I turn around and see him. My heart stops beating for 3 seconds, I think. It is a weird feeling, like a zap up your spine. He isn't drop-dead gorgeous, but he's just.. him. Okay fine, he is cute. I'm trying to place him in my memory. Have we met? I wonder. Obviously not. But it's that feeling, familiar yet foreign, like you know there's something when there's really nothing.

I am thinking too much.

"Where are you going to?" he asks. And I answer. He fishes out a crumpled piece of flyer, and shows it to me. "Yeah, I'm going there too. Which hostel are you staying at?"

Please let it be the same hostel.

And so the conversation continues. Along the way, we discover that we've got some pretty interesting similarities. And I am looking at him the whole time, trying to see him from different angles, wondering how one person can look like so many people at the same time.

*****
Fast-forward a little. That night ended not quite as expected. As it turned out, our hostels weren't quite the same. We walked up the hill, and I reached mine first, but he didn't know where his was. So without knowing his name, I decided to go into mine first, since the door was already open, but not before asking quickly if he would like to let me know where he would be. He asked me how he could do so, and I told him to come back when he found it, cos I'd be waiting. There was a slight drizzle then, I hurried in. I didn't know if he did come back, but I waited, like I said, right after I was done with the paperwork, and I never saw him. Urgh, I thought. I forgot about it, and retreated for a shower.

But it didn't end there.

-end of part 1.

mumblings of a dreamer/realist/modernist - this love

2009-06-28T00:19:00.005+08:00

if you would allow me to indulge just once more,
i'll say it,
and i'll say it many times over:
my heart is with you
and it cradles the simple happy end
that once felt so true.

so through it is,
tell it to the heart that beats with yours
More pulsating
than the rage of the stormy seas.
oh, the rage
left the debris scattered along the shore
the debris which
got under my skin,
under my pores.

actually
these make no sense to me
i 'b'd the winamp playlist
while silently thinkin
"let the next song title be the definitive"
and on came Maroon 5
with "this love"
& so this love it shall always be.

Fleeting.

2009-05-29T00:03:00.002+08:00

Right about now
I would have been laughing
To your sounds.
Yeah right about now.
I turned on the tap
Scalding hot water ouch
Oh it turned cold.

Back to you now.
It must be so easy for you.
Letting.. letting..
Yeah back to you now.
This time yesterday it sang
The heart chirped merry
Oh then it chipped.

I digressed.
Was this your love for me?
These fleeting moments.
Yeah I digressed.
How are you today?
You must be better
Better than yesterday.

Some time tomorrow
I wouldn’t be thinking about you
Right about now.
Yeah some time tomorrow.
Midnight would bring a new sun
The end of nothing
The start of

Everything.
Yeah, everything.

Hello, this feeling.

2009-03-22T15:05:00.002+08:00

This feeling. There’s this swirl inside, and then the light-headedness. The heart palpitates. The sweat beads squeeze their way out of the pores. All smiles. The butterflies. The happiness of anxiety. The heart disengages from the age-old anchor. Freedom. The veins are re-energised; the senses recharged. You’re the anti-gravity, the catalyst.

But the mind resists. No, not now. Not ever. It’s the plunge before the waterfall. It could hit rock-bottom. Or it’ll be endless.

Oooh. Sticky.

2009-03-02T23:50:00.003+08:00

in love with - The Afters

2009-03-01T02:25:00.002+08:00

I've decided to do away with the whole 'Squashed' thing, since well, i doubt i'll have much of me left to do mixes/lists. Or maybe 'squashed' is too much a reminder of how things are these days. I don't love music any less, that's for sure. I just think life is getting to be more of an uphill climb lately. One of those periods in life when u feel like nothing's going right.

But griping aside.

I stumbled upon this song by The Afters just a couple hours ago. Pretty simple song, but i like it anyways. I know i haven't written for some time (uhhm, i think blogspot has a major part to play. i kinda contemplated switching to some other self-publishing sites for a while), so here's a lil sth to bring those squashed memories back.

The Afters - Ocean Wide

You're my signal fire.

2009-01-09T00:26:00.005+08:00

"The perfect words never crossed my mind
Cos there was nothin' in there but you
I felt every ounce of me screaming out
but the sound was trapped deep in me

.. In the confusion and the aftermath,
You are my signal fire."

-Snow Patrol, Signal Fire (From the soundtrack of Spiderman 3)

One of the most beautiful songs ever. Gets me everytime the credits roll.

The Post-Apocalyptic World - 'The Day of the Triffids'

2009-01-03T14:31:00.006+08:00

This has got to be the best sci-fi i've ever, ever read in my entire life. John Wyndham is a genius!The entire story unravels before you with stunning impact, as if you're right in the middle of it, and i'm tellin ya, it would totally make for an awesome hollywood blockbuster today (they actually did make a movie outta it in the 60's, and then a tv series in the 80's). The post-apocalyptic world, survival of the fittest, fear and paranoia, reinvention and rebuilding, heightened self-interest and self-preservation, continuity - u get the idea. Amazing how life could be so easily wiped out at such a great scale, and so swiftly at that.

John Wyndham - The Day of the Triffids

Still can't believe how randomly i chanced upon this book in the library. 3 reasons - 1. it was brand-new (i love brandnews!) 2. i absolutely adore the jacket. if i had the means & if books never turn yellow, i would without doubt indulge myself in the collection of all these books. 3. it's a penguin!(translate: usually pretty good stuff)

To more Wyndham, penguins & aesthetically-superior book covers!

Hmm now what would you do if the world ended tomorrow?

Happy 2009!

2009-01-01T23:24:00.003+08:00

Hooray to better luck this year. Bad luck is so '08. shoo away now u pesky lil unlucky charms.

A new year also means new new year resolutions. Reinvention. New things to look forward to. Lists, lists and more lists. Not that the day ever matters - i love lists.

But this year, it's gonna be different. Old friends shall take even more presidence; no more hefty time investments in those people who don't matter and never will. Home and little priceless comforts and cosy little chats, mainstays. And those bad feelings? I'll just shut them out, as easily as I'm gonna shut out anyone/anything i shouldn't be worrying about. The closet geek in me shall be unleashed in full force.

Thanks to all my dear friends who've always been around to make me sane. It's so so so easy being with you guys. No need for censorship, no embarrassment, we don't even need a plan. we'd just talk, chill, and love life. the world is suddenly so safe and..the world suddenly cares.

Happy 2009 to y'all!

Revisiting teenhood.

2008-12-28T11:46:00.002+08:00

Oh wow, i felt 17 again.

You know that when you're squealing to watch a teen vampire flick on a monday night at midnight, just so u don't end up watching it last in the entire universe.

And to be honest, the plot was kinda blah. But some scenes really stood out. Like chillin on top of a huge tree with you lover in tow and showin absolutely no sign of acrophobia. i mean - how??!But i must add, it was awfully romantic.

Most of all, it's the prom dance scene that got me melting. Gushing. It made Rob Pattinson (Edward) seem so suave. Frankly that gave him the extra gloss, on top of the whole vampire persona. (That's why no one quite bothered about him when he was Cedric in Harry Potter. )You wonder if girls think he's good-looking because he really is, or because of the whole whitey cakey vampire make-up. Every girl wants a bad boy these days.

And henceforth, I'm in love.

With Iron & Wine's Flightless Bird, American Mouth played thruout the prom scene, that is. (i like that part about a 'fat house cat'.)Apparently it's all thanks to Bella and her ipod that convinced the directors to go with this number for the scene.

I couldn't stop replaying that on my winamp yesterday. It suited my whole girlish teenage mode very well. And it went exceptionally well with Sophie Kinsella's 'Remember Me?' - u should try it some time, too.

Especially with that scene with tons of sunflowers in the balcony. I couldn't find a better background song.

Best of 2008 - The Therapy

2008-12-20T01:39:00.002+08:00

So those people always swear by 'best of ' lists - or whatever lists, for that matter. They say it's good for the soul, makes you focus on the good stuff and so the positive energy inside you would rise to a new high, and u'll forget about the present state of shit momentarily.

Ok prophets, let's try it.

(Well, considering that end-of-the-year's my fave period anyway, there is some sorta unfair positive bias inherent in this lil experiment already, don't you think? and you already know i'm gonna end this entry off with some sorta "omg this is so totally therapeutic" crap.)

Ok here goes:
(To round up my awesome 2008, i shall focus only on the good things that happen to me 0.543% of the time. Do those yeasayers some justice.)

Favorite guys (not in any particular order, i think. Such a chore to rank the good stuff, dont u think?):-
1. James Franco (and whoever resembles him)
2. Tommy the cat
3. Oscar Wilde/Jason Mraz/John Mayer/the whole My Chemical Romance gang
4. Orlando Bloom?Shayne Ward?
5. The penguins in "March of the Penguins"
6. A couple of french people
7. A particular mystery friend

Favorite songs this year
1. I' m Yours - Jason Mraz
2. Shit this is tough, uhh..entire of John Mayer's new album. Wait, make it all his albums
3. Gronlandic Edit - Of Montreal
4. Snails - The Format
5. (u'v perhaps come to realise that this section is totally redundant cos my taste in music changes every other day and my memory of each song i love lasts only as long as the track duration reflected on Winamp.)
6. Here without you - 3 doors down ... still. i don't think i can get over this song - ever!
7. Collide - Howie Day..this too.
8. Between the lines - Sara Bareilles
9. Geez, whoever suggested this list thing obviously didnt like many things!!!
10. Brink of disaster - Mae
11. Fall for u - 2ndhand serenade
12. So much love - the rocket summer
13. Qui je suis - Kyo (i've no idea why!i could go on forever with this one)
14. The haunting - Anberlin
15. Okay this list doesn't end. Just browse thru the history of this blog and u can get a vague idea of my constantly shifting taste. So - next!

Favorite place visited this year
France, bien sur!

Favorite new friends this year
My colleagues - mostly those in the chicken shit club. love yallll
See also #7 in first list.

Favorite distractions
Guitar french travel planning chattingyakking running&thenbustingmyknee musicmusicmusic readingnovels musicmusicmusic eat&getfat then running&thenbustingmyknee sundaymornings and rainynights packingmywardrobe and organisingmybooks. friends. sounding like a geek. doing weird things. doing new things. doing many things. doing rubbish at work. unfinished nat geog mags sitting on my table. sleeping. sleepppppppppppyyyy

Omg, this is so totally therapeutic. therapathetic.therapath, there a path to sleep. Goodnight, lists! Till we meet again!

Choosing lines.

2008-12-02T00:28:00.005+08:00

It's a thin line between polar opposites. Haven't you felt so happy you ended up feeling bad? Then maybe you haven't been truly happy at all. Or maybe this form of happiness is just one of many, this form that takes the life out of you because you've got a quick glimpse of what could have been if you chose to live.

what if we love someone we cant be with, and choose to be with someone we cant love? What if miserable fragments of life are part of a not-so-miserable whole?

Could we perhaps feel so sad we end up feeling good?

things fall apart.

2008-11-30T15:08:00.002+08:00

sometimes it really feels as if the world is coming to an end.

i'm enraged by the nonsensically heinous killings. how, stupid stupid fools, could you? and those heaving at your feet, wide-eyed, not understanding why death should choose them - they did nothing.

this senselessness renders me speechless. it could have been anyone. it could have been me, or someone dear, and it doesn't make any sense. have we all become victims of one another, schizophrenic from the constant chaos buzzing in our ears?

amidst the paranoia and the indulgent depression, what's left of the peace-of-mind from the countryside walks?it's unsettling. Truth is, we are all the same. we are fragile, we are never really in control; we should be happy to be alive.

This goes out to everyone in the world, because someday, we would finally have to fight against something far bigger together.

Green day - Wake me up when September ends

Move aside, blah movie posters!

2008-11-02T12:06:00.007+08:00

Now here are some rockin' movie posters of late that really caught my eye.

In Brad Pitt's words, "this is the shit, man!"

Hello good friends.

2008-10-30T22:27:00.005+08:00

dear friends (only!),

if you fancy some virtual vicarious adventure to kill your time with, do swing by http://www.flickr.com/photos/whodrankmycoffee

start from the last page n go upward (i've absolutely no idea how to do it the other way round. if u do, plsssssss feel free to drop me sth!) And there u have it - my lil private guide to france :)

And the juiciest part of it all: the comments, yes!!!!!!!!!

Enjoy!

Going vintage.

2008-10-19T23:59:00.004+08:00

One trip was all it took to rekindle my love for the vintage.

How absolutely delectable!

the north pole.

2008-09-29T00:19:00.005+08:00

I wouldn't mind huggin' a polar bear prancing on icebergs if it promises not to claw, but taking a flight out to freeze myself all the way in the N.P.?Uhm, think i'll pass, thank u. Not like the fridge at home can't do the same.

But if there's this one thing that would sweep me off my feet and have me beggin to be likened to a bag of frozen sausages, it would have to be the aurora borealis. The search for magic since we were little has never quite worn off now, has it?

Dancing lights, oh show me your secret!

Squashed #11: DJ Sunday

2008-09-28T13:05:00.004+08:00

Sunday’s Playlist – a random collection of what works on a sweltering Sunday spent holing up in a lil air-conditioned cubicle doing .

Oh geez! Not THAT word, silly! Work, geez, work!!!

1. Augustana – Boston
2. Snow Patrol – Chasing Cars
3. Jason Mraz – I’m Yours
4. Lene Marlin – Another Day
5. Jamie Scott & The Town – Runaway Train
6. The Script – The Man Who Can’t Be Moved
7. Chris Brown – With You
8. The Format – Dead End
9. Hellogoodbye – Baby, It’s Fact
10. Green Day – Wake Me Up When September Ends (if only someone would!!)

twinkle twinkle.

2008-09-21T12:22:00.002+08:00

so it's u after all, lil star.
ur so dear, but yet so far.
if i had a wish to wish,
upon u
i shall very much wish for u.
and we'd see it come true
under the blanketful of stars.

the world could be awesome.

2008-08-31T21:25:00.002+08:00

What comes after extreme depression?After being void of emotion?After shredding the last fraction of your esteem away?After chaos?After turmoil, anguish and everything in between?After losing, after failing, after every tumble and fall?

Humpty Dumpty on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?

"Done splatting?My turn," he would say.

we fight back, we can't back down. not now. because the winds have changed, and fate has shown mercy. the frustration would be worth it, soon after.

And of all the newfound happy things, knowin u is the happiest.

6 months.

2008-08-24T00:09:00.002+08:00

i would always remember the first time u walked through that door.
i've seen u once before
6 months ago
it seemed a dream so old
but there u were, right through the door

my heart lifted and drifted into a zillion perfumed sensations
ur real, no longer a dream
not 6 months ago
in that cosy scene
we were just talking about many invisible things

but i didn't like u
not like how i liked u
in that moment
captured in that standstill laughter
because we were just laughing about nothing

but now days have passed
and i think im losing
what have u been thinking?
i have been thinking about maybe's
about perhaps, what-ifs, and everything in between

ur not perfect
ur definitely not
the someone i would trust
i would love to trust u
but maybe, just maybe.

i would always remember the first time u walked through that door.
i've seen u once before
6 months after
im living the cliched alternative rock love song
im falling for u all over again.

Skiddin' away on thin ice

2008-08-05T23:50:00.003+08:00

i can't believe it's been ages since i've scribbled. so very obviously, it has utterly consumed me. URGH.

"It" is such a cool word - u get that in "shit", "pit", "zit" - amazing how everything fits.

So before i tear my loosening hair off my head, i thought i would drop myself a memo to remind myself of the sad life im livin right now because im stranded in the wrong country at the right time. right country wrong time? hmm. now that's sth to think about.

oh the bed's such a luxury right now.im starin helpless at the clock.im waitin for the surge of motivation that would jumpstart my brain n get me rollin, so i wouldnt have to sit through the night and worry abt the next mornin.

Perhaps it's time someone took a permanent marker and drew the line between deep shit and thin ice.

Nonsense for thought:middle earth vs real world

2008-06-29T00:11:00.002+08:00

I urge you to hold your horses before you proceed!It's definitely not for those without a fantastically geeky sense of imagination.

Okay again i dont really care. :) but it makes for a nice preview of what im gonna talk abt anyways. i dunno what the deal is with LOTR - i just cant stop watchin the reruns everytime its on tv!i gasp at the exact same frames, laugh at the exact same moments, scream at the exact kills. wow. u think i lead a sucky life. but im actually pretty satisfied with it, thank u very much.

So today was my self-proclaimed me-day of the week, n after tryin to kiss the last shreds of this week's office memories goodbye, those sweet memories hit me back on the head like a boomerang in the midst of my show. The silly king mobilised all males to fight for their honor - including the lil uns, and so when there was this very little boy who was tryin to figure out how to use a sword, it got me thinkin: damn, hes not even experienced. he'd totally die.

in the middle earth it's different:u get thrown into war inexperienced, u die. in the office world, u just sorta get condemned to supervising the printer forever. i wonder who came up with the term "life skills". it's kinda amazin the parallel u can draw btwn fantasy n real world.

so okay lets take this parallel further. lets talk about leadership. imagine ur boss at work starring in Lord of the Rings. now then, let's have the boss leadin the troops to kill the orcs. He/she would say " okay, the SOP for the war is goin to be like this: ppl in front, u take them down with Plan A. Your portfolio would be those creeps on the right. Ppl in the middle rung, u do Plan B. Remember: efficiency! Cut cost!Looking forward, we must conserve our manpower!!Too much to do.if we lose manpower, those left would hafta do OT. understand?"

and perhaps Gandalf would, in your monthly board meeting, go "We must have faith. We must go on. They must be destroyed. Help will come. The sun shall rise again, and the darkness will lift. All who agree say 'ay'. (oh wait the last line sounds more like pirates of the carribbean?)"

and in one of his classic moments, "Run, you fools!"

imagine also Frodo as that colleague of yours who loves to show off:"This ring is such a burden!!!" *looks at ring intently, and then faints from the overpowering heavy burden of the ring*

hmm have i convinced u, or m i the only one in awe with such comparisons? It's sorta like playing hiphop music when Legolas and gang are riding on horseback, or like playing a classic love song when Aragorn tosses Gimli across the little abyss. i dunno. does it tickle u? sure tickles me. haha.

The After-6.

2008-06-23T23:58:00.006+08:00

We are in this constant state of randomness. We are like the nonsensical molecules bouncin off the walls of an enclosed room. Shift the walls closer, make us bounce crazier.

Randomness. We are little lifeless mindless cogs glued to the little chairs. Our souls don't live as yet. Our minds have a life of their own, and move with the random flow. Which part of the good day counts?

But come 6, the mind dies; the soul lives. We salute the good old brain cells that have selflessly sacrificed themselves along the way. We wave the white flag against the sunset and set sail to the horizon.

And there - let's celebrate life.Cheers.

The Cranberries - Zombie

Daughtry - Feels like tonight

The irony in tragedy.

2008-06-06T23:00:00.003+08:00

People make mistakes. But they say it's okay - we'll learn. We'll be smarter the next time round.

Yet when it boils down to the real deal, we never really do learn. It would unfold like the same script borrowed from the ancient Greek tragedy; we fall deep and fall into the same trap the stage sets for us right from the beginning.

And we bruise. We don't stop bruising just because our old scars heal. The scars never really heal. They are just hidden away from view.

It hurts. It hurts so much that the screams come out unheard. The silence is overpowering. We laugh, because it's so funny. We, silly fools, puppets of the Irony, we swirl around to a frazzled waltz, and it gets slower, slower. Slower.

We never stood a chance against the engineering behind your mind.

This is one mistake that gets perfected with practice. They just keep hurting better. We just learn to crawl along with the frozen hands in time. Eventually it will thaw - but how long more?

When I said i liked u, i lied. When i said i didnt care, i lied. When i said i was mad, i lied. I lied becos i love u, and i don't wanna be with you.

You'll be happy. Someday we'll be happy. You'll make me smile again. And then we'll laugh, and talk about the silly things and the great things. And then i'll look at u and still love u like how i always have. I'll cheer u on wherever u are.

May love always be with u. Be good. Thank you.

Squashed #10: We sing. We dance. We can't get enough of J. Mraz!

2008-05-25T13:53:00.002+08:00

Kudos!This is probably his best album ever - a perfect blend of his signature dish of witty rambles, concocted with a slab of jazz, some chilled-out hawaiian Zen, and a whole sizzling potful of funk!

Ah, this is absolutely delectable. My ears and tongue agree in unison.

I don't care if u haven't bought a decent cd in years. You Have To Have ..

.. and start spinnin it on ur stereo!

He's probably one of the most talented musicians ever - and perhaps the nuttiest. The perfect emblem of Life. I love his words, i adore the way he thinks, i worship the way he loves life.i love J. M. philosophy.

If ever u think life is all about money and competition, status, snakes and corporate ladders (which so defines our society these days, isn't it?), take a listen, and i hope this changes your mind. It's okay to be silly, because then you're breakin free, your life breaks into melody, and i hope someday we'll all start dancing.

Ah, divine. He knows me too well. I'm yours, J!

It.

2008-05-18T00:33:00.003+08:00

It came, first like the smell of freshly baked waffles, slowly working its way to infuse your senses, and then it's gone, leaving you with a subtle trail of afterscent, stirring your insides. You want more. You don't quite know what it is.

It doesn't stop right there. Your nose starts feelin a lil sour. Your tearducts threaten to falter. But your heart, preparing to burst into an elaborate display of fireworks.

And yet the flowers are just startin to bloom in the little garden of your heart. You've this strong grippin urge - to do what? You're hopeful. The angels inside are doing a lil dance for you.

When eyes meet, stories are told: a connection is forged forever. This is your secret.

People have tried encapsulating this moment with lil bottles and photographs. But you can't reduce life's music into anything less.

I would write u a song when i find u. I know my heart would sing - it already is. You wouldn't be frozen no more.

And it stays. Always have, always will.

- a soliloquy inspired by a scene in "meet joe black".

Squashed #9 - Can't Stop Spinnin' This 'Un

2008-05-15T23:04:00.004+08:00

This is bad.

i mean - 2 posts in a month?!I see someone cursin this page, (or me), overwhelmed with the strong urge to aim my butt with an odd-shaped pebble, slappin herself on the forehead, wonderin why she's always refreshin this silly page and just not gettin any.

(that's u, peanut, for the curse and the pebble; and mels, for the forehead-slap.)

Haha. Ok now quit goosin ard n get serious! -0-0-. i've adopted this new specs look just for work. well i dun really need the glasses, but its true what they say abt pretendin' to be geeky and actually feelin smarter and performin better.

or so i'd like to think.

But yes back to earth and my much-neglected blog. I've spun this track 32 times today, and i feel compelled to share this with u. Not a new song, but who cares?It melts, it reaches to your heart. It inspires. And hell, it's a great track.

Introducing: John Mayer - St. Patrick's Day
(much thanks to the guy who put this up!)

"Here comes the cold
Break out the winter clothes
And find a love to call your own
You - enter you
Your cheeks a shade of pink
And the rest of you in powder blue"

and later

"We should take a ride tonight around the town
and look around at all the beautiful houses
something in the way that blue lights on a black night
can make you feel more
everybody, it seems to me, just wants to be
just like you and me

No one wants to be alone at Christmas time
Come January we're frozen inside
Making new resolutions a hundred times
February, won't you be my valentine?

And if our always is all that we gave
And we someday take that away
I'll be alright if it was just 'til St. Patrick's Day"

Now that's what i call perfection. Songwriting should speak from the heart.

Lemon Goes Sweet.

2008-05-04T02:21:00.002+08:00

Dear xxx,

I like how this is a mystery - I like how u'd probably never find out, unless of course, u feel the same way.

I like how you're goofy most days, and dorky on some.

I like how u always make me laugh, even when the goin' gets tough.

I like the way u talk funny, and how u ramble on about silly things.

I like it when u smile. It's really kinda cute.

I like how i can say anything to you, cos u actually listen.
(But would u rather watch the television?)

See I think I know u, but a part of u remains elusive.
Your heart shall be my loot when I'm Thief.

I like that you're nice - I'm never quite into mean spicy guys.

I like that you drift. You know I'd ride the waves with you.

I like how this stupid letter doesn't rhyme, but knowing you, you won't give a shit.

I like how we talk and talk nonstop and talk embrace live the words that make up the chemistry between you and me.

I like how I like fallin crazily in like with you.

xoxo

Angel & The B*tch

2008-04-13T00:31:00.003+08:00

I am still an advocator of peace and love, but the burn in my chest refuses to take a hike. In fact, it's been escalating for the past 5 hours and before it reaches the peak of Everest, perhaps i should do a BitchAlert and share the latest scoop with you, my favorite friends.

So here goes. I was in a pretty good mood today. J & i were hangin at crocs cos i was desperate for a pair of comfys (honestly, is it THAT comfy?!). i was in some purple maryjanes n was about to turn around to walk over to J's, only to find two slightly plump figures (sigh, check out other post on cherubic bar manager in Timbre,Substation) right in front of my face, blocking my way strategically.

So i went "uhmm..sorry" (read:excuse me). but wow, the shorter one with bitchily arched eyebrows and a makeupshop-ful of cosmetics on (somewhat bringing to mind Stephen King's depiction of the scary clown in horror novel "It") continued to dangle a pair of black men's crocs in front of my face (no shit: 10 cm away from my face) for what seemed like 9 secs. i really dun think im that skinny (not even close), but thanks for the flattery.weird.or maybe shes just ***.

and then she spoke, in bitch accent, "U can just say excuse me u noe."

Hmm..maybe "sorry" just wasn't english. i dun wanna be racist here but seriously, why do they always sound the same when they try 2 be a bitch? Naturally, i walked away with a blank face, saying nothin, just excited to show J the maryjanes and tell her abt Bitch-with-constantly-surprised-look.

i walked back to the same aisle after and, laughin with J, i exclaimed, "Seriously!"This was promptly followed by a "Stupid" from Stephen King's It. Seriously. So i went over to her n said, "Actually, i kinda said a sorry,so.." *shrugs*.

It went "Whateverrr"*rolls eyes* -> Yes it means she's at a loss for words cos obviously her education dint teach her enough vocab and she prolly dusnt know that "sorry" could double up as "excuse me". It's kinda sad. :( But honestly, with her perfectly animated eyebrows, she dusn't need much to tickle us, dus she?

Which also means she lost. I'm kinda mad with myself for not trying to do a bitch back with my famous sarcasm-meets-bimbotic-and-a-flip-of-hair act, reserved for SOS situations like so. I simply walked out, holding my head high, biting my very much quivering lip. J asked if i was okay - no i wasnt - but i walked away anyways. cos "Nice" is a way of life. Rude is for bitches with arched brows and heavy makeup who try to act real cool in front of their boyfriends becos they have no real talent other than saying "whatever" and rolling their eyes so that their eye-whiteness shows and momentarily takes attention off their stupid faces.

Oops. Sorry. So maybe "nice" isn't what this post is about. But well, I am on higher ground still (i think, c'mon!!at least Z thinks so). I have to admit, im still kinda bothered, but let's all have pity on those with eyebrow paralysis.

Be nice!!

Squashed #8 - Midnight Mixtape

2008-04-07T01:56:00.006+08:00

(Yup, click me!)

A huge part of me would have loved to delve into the realms of my very current depression, but no, The Mixtape (Mine!), so aptly titled "Oh Cheer Up Now", shall speak on my behalf.

No surprise - none of the songs in there are actually your classic "cheer up oh we feel so good now" songs. In fact, i would think they verge on being kinda-sorta-depressed. And i wonder why.

In any case, i love them all, and they go pretty well with my mood atm. Twas a lousy sunday; twill be a good monday. Have a cheery listen anyways!

P.S. Looking back on my list, it suddenly occurs to me that i might have had subconsciously conjured some themes for the music. And if you would look deeper, you'd see that i've actually bared my soul to the core.

Everyone loves a 1-minute psych test.

2008-03-29T02:25:00.005+08:00

I had this amazing idea right before i hit the sack yester-night. Kinda like a nano-second, twilight-zone “Ah-Hah!” moment, if you know what i mean.

It’s amazing, how most creative moments in your life happen
a)in the bathroom (toiletbowl/shower)
b)on the trains
c)on your bed right before you zone out.

In other words, we get to our peak of creativity at the height of our boredom. Ironic, but true. Even the brain gets bored of being bored, so actually the most creative people are technically also the most jobless.

Wow i should write a theory on this one. But I have a better idea now! Scroll down for the latest addition to the world of bogus pop-psych tests!
--------------------
Think you really know yourself? Take this test to find out!

1) You have a stupid housemate who almost
- set the house on fire because he/she left the coffee flask with the plastic handle over the fire.
- left his/her uneaten food in the pot for a week because he/she was too busy whining to wash up, and because the food sucked too bad even for shitty-human consumption. Mould grew, and you had to do the cleaning up for the severely handicapped.
- shat in your toilet because his/her shit clogged up his/her own toiletbowl.*
(all of the above are true accounts.)

*No photo of that one due to explicitly grotesque content.

You would:
a) Be nice and compliment on his/her free-spirit
b) Do nothing
c) Write a blog post on bogus psych tests just so you could share the intimate incriminating photos with the world.

2) The cat is..

a) happy
b) no idea!
c) doesn’t give a shit

3) The dog is..

a) laughing
b) white
c) freaky

If you had mostly A’s : you freaking liar.
If you had mostly B’s: geez, you’re useless.
If you had mostly C’s: Welcome to the club!!!! =)

(Okay no hate mails now. A joke, people. A joke!!)

A random tribute to the joker in heaven who enjoys messing with my life.

2008-03-27T01:16:00.003+08:00

Disclaimer: This is an absolutely secular post. And no, this is not written for a particularly useless ex-boyfriend, or a cover-up suicide note. It was painfully extracted out of a dejected soul upon its receipt of yet another "we regret to inform you" letter (only the close ones would know, naturally. i never stop screaming into their faces.)

And hence the lack of stylish poetic embellishments. the poem isn't gonna sound like any more than sleeptalk.

It was conceived out of an epiphanic moment, a stark realisation that somewhere in the heavens above us, theres a control freak who loves playing us humans like how we humans play The Sims. he/she/it loves a bit of drama and modern Greek tragedy. Ha-ha. So here we go:

I think I’m defeated.
I spend my mornings in bed,
refusing to get up to start the day.

I think it ended.
It was over before it began.
There’s nothing left, not even the sun.

I would surrender.
But not today, I’m not ready yet.
I’m so used to the grey patches I see in my reflection.

I can’t swim well.
Though I guess I could keep afloat still,
With your help – please don’t turn me down.

Oh I’m defeated.
Spare me your evil chortle
You’re gonna choke on that big fart of a cloud now. -Lemon, Murder'd again.'08.

Squashed #7:PanicAttack!

2008-03-24T22:54:00.006+08:00

It prolly started the moment i reached for my cuppa plain tasteless water & , to my absolute horror, witnessed 10 little itsy bitsy ants floating around at the top of the water level, dancing in a swirl.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

It's not the ants, really. I don't quite abhor the little ones as much as i hate fat flying bugs. It's the little mass of black they form when they come together. It's how the blackness spells Death right in your face. It's how easily these kamikazes did their thing and decided to kill themselves altogether in an attempt to stop the enemy (me) from drinking my water. And all i had to do was pour them outta the fountain of death and pour myself a new glass. And there goes their legacy, down the sink.

I scream not because i hate them; my scream shall serve as a tribute to their courage. as shall this post.

Why do ants choose to do this kamikaze thing, really? Could it be a mass exodus from their nest because of bad governship? Lack of job prospects (due to lack of food supply)? Or just simply an epidemic of contagious depression?

Whatever it is, i hope the ants think twice before jumping now. Curiosity kills the cat; depression kills many ants.

Now on to the wrap-up. Just got my hands on the latest Panic!at the disco album (and hence the title of this post) - and i love it!!!Finally, a style that IS distinguishable from Fall Out Boy's. Still the good ol quirky song titles, still the nice surprises peppered throughout the album, just way better sounding this time round!!The whole album spans across different styles and is, in all, a pretty amazing aural experience for a pretty panicky day.

http://www.myspace.com/panicatthedisco ->Click here to check their music out!

And now, time for some water.

Where's your 60B?

2008-03-17T02:19:00.008+08:00

This is my Nth time catching the rerun of "Elizabethtown" on cable. And i'm still lovin' it. It captures everything i love & embrace - the greens, the fresh air, the free-spiritedness; the resilience we have within us to bounce us back from failures; love; destiny & its weird antics. it's a nice cosy feel-good film that never ever fails to inspire everytime i watch it.

Most of us get so caught up in our lives that we forget to live it. We slog, we compete. Measure satisfaction against the material wealth barometer. And the point in all this?There isn't, really.

Perhaps it's time to take a roadtrip. Drive along. Find your "60B"(Watch the movie to find out why!). Laugh a lil, love a lil. Smile through the pain, dance silly in the rain.

Because "amazing things can happen when u least expect them" to. And now that, is the point of being alive.

It's amazing, what watching E-town does to me. Check out the official movie website to tune in to the awesome music featured in the film. It's been on replay on my side since the film ended.. and i refuse to turn it off and go to bed!

Now wouldn't it be nice to just be silly and do crazy little things, and not give a hoot about what the world thinks?

bookworms unite!

2008-03-16T15:25:00.003+08:00

wow it's an amazing feeling, getting to see all of them come together as one major force, finally!okay so maybe not all the book covers are aesthetically breathtaking, but these books are either a) some of the best i've enjoyed lately, or b) are what i intend to read in the very near future.

sigh, pity about the aesthetics. cd covers next, perhaps?

To top it off, here's some great music to read to:

*Howie Day - Collide

*Matt White - Love

*The Fray - How to Save a Life

Happy Sunday!

Squashed! #6 - Rediscovered.

2008-03-13T02:03:00.007+08:00

well this is gonna be a really random post on a really random night, considerin the fact that its 2 am yeah in the morning and yet there's some serious construction drilling going on undeterred over on my left. hmm. time check, peeps? it IS kinda dark now!!

on a night like this, i choose to revisit a bunch of songs that i never fail to enjoy even after all this while.

nope no indie today, just nice, good ol mainstream radio music. this goes out to the drillers who can't stop rockin' - take a breather, man!

Damien Rice - The Blower's Daughter

Damien Rice - Cannonball

Atomic Kitten - Whole Again

Atomic Kitten - The Last Goodbye

Sugababes - Too Lost in You

O-town - All or Nothing (i used to put this on replay back in the day!)

And i just found out about this one that really really swept me away. Love the alliteration, makes it oh-so-lyrical:

*Damien Rice - Rat Within the Grain

Oooooooh and the world is beautiful all over again.

The Letter.

2008-03-12T01:34:00.002+08:00

It actually didn’t start out right.
There was black brown, never light.
We hold the bad emotions too tight.
And hate, never outta sight.

But the night grows old,
And it’s time to let go.
Let’s retreat inside our souls
Think outside our petty fouls.

I was gonna write an angry song
But why let anger drift you along?
Time age death don’t know right from wrong
Hate wouldn’t make you better than the throng.

I would write longer, longer, longer...
But it’s not gonna make anything better.
Because I’ve just got a letter
Showing me the real pains of the other world.

So tonight I shall forgive
And let live.
It’s a trap
Getting caught up
In a world
That doesn’t care
About
Anything.

So if you hate,
I hope you get the same letter.
And henceforth pledge your tears
For a more useful purpose.

It’s never just about you.
There are others, who deserve to smile under the skies so blue.

-Lemon, Murder'd
(upon reading a letter that calls out for donations to the poor kids in Africa).

of american bands & chinese band-names.

2008-03-10T00:48:00.003+08:00

"Xiu Xiu" conjures to mind a girl bending over a green grass patch smelling (sniffing?) flowers, and "Saosin" a wet blanket. no?

Perhaps for the chinese-savvy. But it definitely works well as a marketing strategy to name your band like so. The anally curious have a strong need to dig out your entire history log and do a thorough traceback on the roots of your bizarre bandname that far surpasses randomness.

Whereas XiuXiu (pronounced shoe-shoe, according to Wiki, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xiu_xiu) is way more experimental, and comes up with music that is sometimes too much for a non-experimental crowd (they dabble with noise, for instance), Saosin is, i'm proud to say, not at all a wet-blanket. Basically a hardcore rock band, they are equally capable of producing stuff that could appeal to the mainstream population, my fave of which is the track "You're Not Alone" off their album in 2006.

But before I put up the vid and let blogger do its routine hanging/lagging on me (note to blogger.com: how about blagger.com for a sister site?!), some interesting trivia on the derivation of Saosin's bandname from our friend Wiki:

"It’s pronounced SAY-OCEAN, and it’s a Chinese proverb from the 15th and 16th centuries. It means “small heart”. "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saosin

Hmm.Gotta ponder on that one.Perhaps "xiaoxing" doesn't look as cool for a bandname, eh?

Whatever it is, we've gotta give these dudes much credit for daring to be different. (Actually, this suddenly brings to mind an acquaintance from US who showed me her tattoo once. She said it was supposed to be a chinese character for power or something. I didn't have the heart to tell her that it wasnt a chinese word at all. On the bright side tho, it was nicely done.)

Check Saosin out here! Enjoy the vid.

Rants and raves

2008-03-09T01:22:00.004+08:00

Other than a vaguely socially-retarded sibling who can't seem to differentiate between 10dB and 1000000 dB of noise he produces, and who gets mad at stupid things all the time (and u say women are high-strung), today was- after strict subtraction- still stubbornly shitty.

let's start with Timbre@ Substation. Thanks for ruining an otherwise nice evening. I'm not gonna drag the entire management down, just perhaps the rather rotund and rude lady manning the bar area and the incompetent barman who happens to be serving drinks with his eyes on his arse. I give credit to the place, and even to the music. But i absolutely abhor substandard politeness. we pay u, 7% + 10% extra for service charge and gst, u woman and u man, for serving with a tinge of courtesy, thank you. customers do appreciate quality service.

-i've never really had any motivation to blog about lousy shitty service. im not usually upset by the mundane-

so with my eyes looking at the mocktail page of the menu, i ordered a * margarita, omitting the one word that would imply its non-alcoholic nature. i guess i kinda assumed that the absolutely attentive barman would bother shifting his eyes down to where i was looking at to catch my drift.

no.my bad,i guess.

so we got into conversation.manager came over.gave a bunch of bull - and suggested AFTER A WHILE that yeah, she could change me a glass without the alcohol, but i gotta pay the initial cost. fine by me, miss. but uh, why that sulk? just cos i had a perfectly legitimate reason not to get a drink tonight? you had absolutely no smile, no kindness. you were insincere to the core. if i could sing u a song on the spot i woulda dedicated "Your lousy attitude is the reason why i don't feel like having a drink anymore" to you.

and yes, i told her not to bother with her grudging service. this episode dampened me for a while, so thanks, Peanut, for being around.

I would still go back to Timbre @ Clarke Quay for the pizzas. But Timbre @ Substation? Your guess is as good as mine.

Now on to something more rave-worthy. The only good part of the day (night?) took place btwn 930-1115 pm, during which we caught 2 amazing acts by the bay. When do we start a band?!

Do check out the two mesmerising singer-songwriters:

Andrea Hamilton
Style: Acoustic/pop/rock
Her vocals were so pure, yet so powerful. Almost faultless. I love how she captured her free-spiritedness & positivity in her songs. Yes i would get your EP's the next time round I promise!

Trey Lockerbie
Style:Indie/Pop/Rock/Alternative
A more emo version live, he kinda reminded me a tad of Secondhand Serenade. His recorded stuff is, in comparison, very much more soothing and stripped-down. I love the edgy rock feel he incorporated into his act, however. And like Andrea, the one thing that illuminates them from other forgettable acts is the soul they put into their music.

Now i wanna learn the guitar so bad.

And that concludes the Life & Times of a Lemon on a Saturday Night.

Squashed #5- Blues meets electronica/experimental

2008-03-08T01:21:00.007+08:00

it's 0300 in the morning and i am bummed out.

oh how i hate result nights for American Idol!I've never been a huge fan, but this season's peeps are utterly amazing - watch it to believe it!darn im a sucker for it now, and two of my fave personalities just got the boot. boohoo. gbye, danny & asia'h.

"alright now, that is enough. now show me the music."

uhh.

on a bright note, here are a couple of performances i really enjoyed this season that are eternally etched in my goldfish memory.

David Archuleta may be 17, but he sure sings with alotta soul. that performance really moved.

100% rocker-chick approved, David Cook!

That's A.I./blues for you!To complete the post tonight, we've got some Cyanide Valentine with some pretty good chillout electronica. Sorta stumbled upon them earlier in the day while i was idling about, and much as most electro-music makes me froth at my mouth, Cyanide Valentine is, surprisingly (to my delight), quite a gem. A couple of songs off their album reminds me a lil of the Prodigy, & the downtempo ones make for really great company in the night. Some sound somewhat futuristic, some sound slightly freaky, some just plain indie & laidback & bluey - but overall an excellent mix of different sounds. Unexpected, refreshing. i like it. I like how spacey it makes me feel. Spacey like a)the experience of vastness of space & b)the state of being spaced out. Seriously!

Best thing is : You can get the album here - for free! Generous lot they are. It's definitely worth a listen. Thanks much Cyanide! Great stuff.

All the lagging while loading this post is making me sleepy.yawn.yeah i believe Bed's calling out to me.

Passes out.

Bhangra night.

2008-03-04T23:54:00.002+08:00

Shimmy along to the most funky zombie dance you'll ever see in your life .. and 'rofl' your guts out!!!

and to go along with the whole nonsensical/multi-cultural theme tonight, here's another:

Beach House - Gila

haha.

Rhythm of the rain.

2008-03-04T00:45:00.003+08:00

It's the rain, again.
The wind howls through the lil aperture between the window panes.
The music plays.
And suddenly the world feels safe.
The howl is no longer menacing
Against the backdrop of reverbs & chillout beats
Against the lure of reverie.

All of nature has come to orchestrate
Come, dance to the music, the howls,
& the rhythm of the rain. -Lemon, Murder'd. 08

(So naturally The Tea calls out to me on a crummy day like this. While sipping my cuppa amidst histrionic gesticulations, the radio playing in the background of the equally crummy haunt caught my ear and sent me searching high and low for the song that has got to be on my playlist tonight!uhh yeah shucks, it's pop. i told myself i have to be strictly folk/rock today.Oh women, we fickle-minded lot. Must be the rain.)

*Jonas Brothers - When you look me in the eyes

Kinda a teeny-bopper type of song. But we all need our girly-girl-loves-boy-bands moments. Enjoy!

stuff talk.

2008-02-26T15:43:00.005+08:00

stuff!i'm a sucker for stuff.what IS stuff?

Google says stuff is "the tangible substance that goes into the makeup of a physical object"; "senseless talk";"information in some unspecified form".blahblah.

But no i don't think that quite explains what stuff is all about. Stuff is every lil nitty grit on earth that sucks you in and allows you to forget, momentarily, that your life isn't pathetic.

hooray!i stumbled upon some stuff a while ago n did some stuff n now im a really blessed soul.

The source of stuff lies here:
http://www.readymech.com/

courtesy of the dude over at geekspeak to your right >>>
(thanks!)

Check it out. pretty interesting stuff they got there. i shan't spoil the surprise.

And no points for guessing which one i've selected. (besides, my printer only dus black n white.)

"meowwwwwwwww"

A lil mix for a friend

2008-02-25T23:33:00.003+08:00

This lil something goes out to J (you know who you are!), who's been going thru a rough patch lately. Doubt I'll have much time to indulge in such jobless endeavors in the future, boohoo, so while i still can...

And to X as well. Some of the songs prolly sound random to u, but hope the list cheers u up a lil nonetheless.

And to the non-J's & X's, you're most welcome to be a Lemon Friend. Have a happy life .

Blast these right now!!

2008-02-25T15:16:00.003+08:00

As promised. Now I just hope the links work.

Mae- Brink of Disaster

The Rocket Summer - Brat Pack

The Rocket Summer- So Much Love (you don't need anti-depressants now!)

Whee.

(As i'm typing away, it might also be worthwhile to add that i've just added some 5 chinese songs -5!!!!- to my audio collection. You rock, David Tao. But don't take that as the green light to spam me with Cantonese songs, Jack Nightmare. DUSNT WORK THAT WAY!*puts up right palm and swishes hair to side for an awesome pose*)

Squashed! #4 - Blast these!

2008-02-24T13:56:00.011+08:00

i love to explore.i love travelling to the unknown and getting lost amidst the beauty.i love the sea and its surfs.

but when you are broke, surfing the internet and exploring new musical landscapes from the comfort of your wooden chair would prolly be the next best thing.

Apart from some really crappy indie stuff that i've innocently sampled along the way (read: a conglomeration of all the lousiest noises in the world that don't make sense individually, and create a disharmonoius din together. take a listen when you wanna experience (a) the explosion of a rocket gone wrong in outerspace b) 92138 migraines simultaneously), I've come across some really blog-worthy/mind-blowing/soul-infused music that can't seem to find their way out of my player.

Some honorable mentions (other than -of course- Secondhand Serenade):
1. Jimmy Eat World
http://www.myspace.com/jimmyeatworld

This song from some time back has got me melting in the past couple of days. Check out the lyrics, and i hope you'll be left mesmerised, too.

And start cherishing your friends today.

2. Umbrellas
http://www.myspace.com/umbrellas

To be frank, I've never heard of this band till now, but i was pleasantly greeted by the material in their self-titled album released in 2005. Vocals are mellow and sometimes verge on melancholic, sort of like a band version of Lene Marlin, or a more upbeat Thirteen Senses. The brooding touch makes for a really good bedtime lull, or just something to lounge to. Not when you're depressed, though.

3. Mae -->highly recommended!!

This album is The Bomb (kinda looks like one, dusnt it?). I couldn't get my ears off "Brink of Disaster" (esp. the first 12 secs of it), and the rest of the album proved to be as superb!i love the way they sound. i love the texture, i love the vocals, i love the twists within songs. oh geez i wish i were better equipped with the ability to comment more persuasively, but really, if there's just one song you have time for, it has to be "Brink of Disaster"*. And THEN you'll know what i mean amidst my gibberish. Hear how Mae makes a car crash disaster unfold so seamlessly. 12913 stars!

4. The Rocket Summer --> greatest respect for!
http://www.myspace.com/therocketsummer

I think blogger is getting impatient cos i believe it's gonna start hanging on me the 4th time today. So to keep it short, The Rocket Summer is another one-man band, fronted by talented Bryce Avary who, with superb power-vocals and amazing musical skills, produces uplifting, meaningful, inspiring, highly infectious music that would never fail to brighten your day. (Unless of course you hate the likes of Hanson. But even if you do, you HAVE TO give this dude a listen.) I dedicate "Brat Pack"* to all my lovely bratty friends.

And I'm gonna be buying his latest CD. 'Nuff said.

*Due to seriously shitty internet connection and uncooperative blogger.com, the 2 songs highlighted would be put up in the next post!cheers. (While trying to get this post published, IE shat on me, like, yet another time.)

sweet dreams.

2008-02-22T00:56:00.000+08:00

Flu is a very terrible thing.It makes sleep so annoyingly undesirable.

but oh, how can you not want to sleep when you could have such wonderful, wonderful dreams?

Presenting: The Impossible Romance of Tommy the Cat, & Squishy Squishy Bug.

"Here without you, baby
But you're still on my lonely mind

I think abt you baby

And i dream about you all the time"- 3 Doors Down, "Here without you".

Aww..

have a good sleep.

Squashed! #3 - Music that slaps them in the face without you dirtying your hands.

2008-02-19T22:51:00.000+08:00

Ever felt like the screws in your jaws came loose & made you spend a good minute staring blankly ahead with your mouth wide open in disbelief?

Of course screws don't unscrew by themselves. We call the catalysts arseholes.

You get all excited telling them the one good thing that has happened to you in centuries and they go "uhhhhh..ok, it's not a big deal". Familiar?

Or the worst day in your life and they go "Oh. Your life sucks"

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!

But no. We all need a modicum of peace.

Take it out with grace. Breathe. We don't need to get our hands dirty to tell these blocks that we would live a better life, thank you very much.

Really, some music says it all.

1.Band of Horses - No One's Gonna Love You

2.Linkin Park - Bleed It Out

3.My Chemical Romance - I'm Not Okay (I Promise) ->>lurrrrve it!

4.My Chemical Romance - Dead!

5.Alicia Keys - Karma

6.Jason Mraz - The Remedy (I Won't Worry) (Yes finally!Think Imeem's exactly what I've been looking for. Can't wait to share more music guilt-free woooooot!)

& 7. My Chemical Romance (again!) - I Don't Love You.

Random musings

2008-02-18T22:55:00.000+08:00

"Sometimes the last person on earth you want to be with
is the one person you can't be without." - Pride & Prejudice (2005)

And that brings me to the old adage: Marry not the person you can live with, but you can't live without.

(Actually I'm not even sure we can consider that an adage, since we live in such a practical society devoid of age-old romance & love today. It would perhaps be more apt to call love a fable. But that's just the cynic in me speaking.)

The hopeless romantic in me is, however, utterly relentless in the pursuit of this love i can't live without, love that could withstand the erosion of time, the gravity of bad days & moods, the distance that stretches across wherever you are in the world. Love that hails from way back in the history, love that was carved on stones, inked on secret love-letter stashes; love that caused anguish & pain as much as happiness & excitement. Love that is celebrated. Love that is depicted in motion pictures that make you bawl your eyes out.

Just like I'm a cynic/romantic, good old love is really love/hate. I've caught Pride & Prejudice a few days back on cable, but it left some serious trails in my head/heart that i have yet to shake off. And of course there's the lush greenery featured all over the show to gush about, but no, not today. I'm sparing you my incessant daydreams.

But how good it would be to be trodding around the countryside with a long skirt in the 19th C, with butterflies & flowers all around, and love in the air. Oh how I love the greens! It laces everything you do with love & purity.

Now back to the real world. Sad to say,cynic/romantic came to a consensus & the only love that is practically satisfying to both is (what else!?) awesome music.

And so, it's soundtrack day for me today. With titles as irresistable as "stars & butterflies" (exactly!), "the secret life of daydreams", "another dance", it isn't hard to imagine why i could see myself fitting in perfectly into Jane Austen's world. See you soon, Mr Darcy.

Sunday blues; Squashed! #2

2008-02-18T00:17:00.000+08:00

Yet another blahhh sunday.i guess u could assume i was pretty much doing nothing. Seemingly. But really, i was very deep thought. (Ha, u say.) I've been looking high and low for a neat lil widget to fit into my lil blog for your listening purposes, but to no avail. Call me fussy, call me lazy - i prefer practical- but really, why dun they have those easy drag-n-drop things that allow u to put your music up for others to listen to hassle-free without

a) hassle for the owner (me)

b) lousy loading

c) people being able to (easily) rip the music off (oh sheesh those copyrighting laws. bummer.)

So,i've decided to stick to the methods of sharing music i know best. (Actually, they are all i know!) Youtube vids & Myspace's. & perhaps the occasional mp3 sharing once i've figured out a no-frills way to do so.

As with any other good old day, my ears had a craving. And the winner of OMG-I-Love-It-&-It-Actually-Made-Me-Feel-Good-For-A-While-On-A-Sunday Award goes to:

Queen -Bohemian Rhapsody

And believe me,it's worth at least 100 listens!It's one of those never-die classics of all time. Thanks to Michael Johns from this season's American Idol (appreciate your enthusiasm Jack ha!) who sang it so well, I find myself going back in time to unearth this and other gems from previous decades. Holy! My poor laptop is almost crumbling under its fever.

Squashed! #1

2008-02-17T00:25:00.000+08:00

i've got TONS of fave songs/bands, but a lifetime is divided into years, n years into months, n months into days, blah... n so it's necessary to dedicate a nano-segment of your life to each and every of these songs/bands, one at a time. explore it. breathe it. live in it. and then walk out of it, knowing that you have truly loved it, and then revisit it in the future and relive the experience.

it is alot like love.first love,perhaps?but love nonetheless.

the best songs sometimes do not strike u on 1st listen, but they make damn sure that u put them on nonstop replay once u'r hooked the 2nd time round. 2nd time rounds are usually by accident, at least for me, if love doesn't come on first listen.

and most of the time, these are the songs that haunt you for life.

What moves u?the lyrics?the music?

For me right now : lyrics, music, and one-man bands. my utmost respect to these talented, exceptional musicians.

Which brings me to the song of the week (that's been on replay ever since second listen):

That's secondhand serenade for you, or rather, John Vesely. The vid is nothing fancy, but its simplicity complements the raw emotions he sings with - splendid!

"Best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core.."

I'm in love with you already, and no, i promise i would never fight with you over the tv remote again - ever!you rock,John!

and this goes into my "evergreen" list.

it's time!!

2008-02-16T23:59:00.000+08:00

Yes it is!It's time to bring it on!

Thanks to the fanatic urges of close budds,i'm gonna be spicing up my lil page. 'what with?' you ask. what else??

if you're a friend and ur asking me this, you may like to contact me personally for a very special conference on the subject of the dubious existence of our acquaintance.

(!)

well let's see.there's music, there's travel, there are good books, there are random atoms crashing into one another in the air. i'll write about whatever, whenever, as long as i think it's worth sharing (actually, isn't everything!?), and worth my efforts (now hmm...)

so let's get it rolling with my Squashed! entries - music-driven knickknacks & whatnots. this is gonna be tough to keep up with, but i'm gonna try to get into a habit of doing this! after all, music is (the love of!) my life - what better than to indulge in it?yummy.

n of course my ramblings aren't gonna stop.geez, so many things to talk abt; so lil time!

i am a music sloth

2008-02-06T12:56:00.000+08:00

it never fails to amaze me, how my cat could waste away afternoons bumming around, lazing around, staring into space. it is an art, really, being able to indulge in the different cat-atonic (is that how the word came abt?!) positions that he so fancies, without fidgeting, with not a care in the world.

but in fact, i am just the same.

it's weird how i never find myself running out of things to do when i'm home. gone were the days when i would frantically butt myself outta home before the walls started closing in on me. these days i could glue myself to my seat for hours straight just listening to music, or exploring the new ones out there.

which is just as well that im jobless right now. Musica-spiritually speaking,i'm at an all-time high. i am complete.im completely empowered by my obsession with great music n awesome bands.

whee.

and so my index finger clicks away, with my ears wide open. i find joy,exhilaration. Rock music rocks!I bounce along, naturally, to the eclectic rhythms. even to the melancholic ones. time whizzes by.

im a music sloth, and i do not have a care in the world. Slothing is an art.

'jamber' days

2008-02-04T03:09:00.000+08:00

wherever you are, I hope you are well.
because you've changed my life.

You're still my favorite stranger.

the iced lemon tea effect

2008-02-02T20:51:00.000+08:00

Yes perhaps I should briefly mention my obsession with tea - iced, hot, lemon, peppermint, jasmine, green.. whatever!

I'm sipping combi 1+3 right now.

Never fails to jazz me up. brrrrr.i feel slightly better already.

Good teas must always be enjoyed with good music.

Down on my luck

2008-02-02T19:47:00.000+08:00

So here we go, yet another new blog that sees its future floating around somewhere in cyber wasteland.I never had a knack for religiously updating my blogs; perhaps this would start a new record.

But yes, it has to.

I'm writing this first post amidst one of the darkest periods in my life. If Darth V. would just kindly excuse me please. I find a recent lack of energy in conveying my thoughts to thoughtful chums & family members through my mouth,so i guess my fingers could do the trick. It works, actually. The words come easier cos you're really talkin to no one and everyone at the same time. Writing is probably the next best thing to say,umm,psychic transmitting waves?

i have this plan,see. i have had shit loads of bad luck since -i'm tempted to say forever, but oh, why overglorify badluck- ...forever. You know what they say: when you're at the lowest,there's no other way but up. But guess what I've discovered?

It's total bull. When you're at your lowest, you could actually remain there forever.

Realise that I'm using "forever" very liberally. Depressed souls have no acute sense of time. There's no hurry in each day. The only hurry is in digging a hole in your own grave. The more literate call it 'wallowing in self-pity'; those in denial call it 'reminiscing'.

I'm kinda a little of both. My mood these days verges on hypo- hyper-, depending on the music that's blasting.

So like those people on MTV's "I want a famous face", i'm gonna document my journey of tremendous (mood) uplifting, enhancement and optimism injections. Well really it depends. It could end up being a blog better titled "Don't jump!!"

But since bad luck isn't gonna budge anytime soon, we'll just have to settle for excerpts of my shitty life right now.