i'll remember u - part 2

That was September 30th.

October 1st was good. I had fun with my dorm mates, who made excellent company. But my mind was adrift; there was nothing from the receptionist.

Eventually I told my mates about bus boy. B & J were confident that I would bump into him again, since the town was so small anyways, but I wasn't so sure. I mean, he could have left by now. He did say he wasn't gonna stay for long.

In any case, I was just enjoying my stay, and I planned on having a blast for the many days to come, with or without him.
*******
October 2nd, evening. 8pm

F changes into a fresh shirt, getting ready to meet his date. "What are you gonna do?" he asks.

"Well, I dunno..." I contemplate the possibilities in my head.

"You know, sometimes you have to put in some effort. Fate only does so much - the rest is up to you!" F urges. We laugh, because we both know it's so true.

"But I dunno his name. I don't even know where to start!"

I'm exasperated. But I wanna do something.

"Ok fine, F. You shall go for your date, and I shall go hunt for mine!" And I stand up, ready for a stroll. We smile at each other before we say our goodbyes and good luck's.

October 2nd, evening. 8.30pm

I come back to the hostel, defeated. There are many other guesthouses in the area, as I expected. Which one is he in?

I decide to try the receptionist. (But to be honest, I'm not hopefully at all.) I ask the sweet lady if there's a guesthouse nearby, and affirming what I already know, she says that there are a few in the area. We talk further, and I tell her about my search for a friend I know nothing about.

Crap, I thought.

"But hey, there's one guesthouse that we are in contact with. We send our guests there sometimes. I can try to give them a call, see if your friend is there. Do you know his name?" she inquires.

"Hmm nope. Just that he's mixed and he's from ... " (Well obviously the details were more detailed but I'm omitting them here.)

She dials for the hostel, and asks for a guy fitting the description I gave; I don't stop biting my lip. Then she nods toward me.

"REALLY?!" My eyes bulge and I'm in absolute disbelief. Oh my god, what are the odds?

She hangs up (sweet lady!), and writes me the address of the guesthouse, adding some brief directions. Apparently, the other receptionist also said that he returns late usually, and that he is going to leave real early the next day. (Bummer.)

I thank her profusely, and head up to grab my bag. While heading out, I see V, a lady I befriended just an hour before, and asks if she will like to take a walk. She agrees spontaneously, and we head out. I'm feeling heady already.

As we walk, I share everything with her.

October 2nd, evening. 9.00pm ++

V and I return to the hostel, feeling accomplished from the stroll, though we didn't manage to find the guesthouse.

"Never mind, V. It's no big deal," I told her earlier.

"No! You can't give up! You must look for him," she tried to convince me. I laughed. She was a real cheerleader.

"It's okay. You've walked long enough with me. I feel bad! Let's just head back. See, if we're meant to meet, we will. Something will happen that'll make that come true, somehow," I rationalised, but I wasn't feeling as confident as I sounded, that was for sure.

So here we are, trying to settle down, getting ready for our little chat session complete with orange juice.

"Oh wait, V. I totally forgot. I need to use the net for a while. Some reservations I have to re-confirm by today, I'm sorry," I tell her.

"No problem," she replies. She decides to take a shower first.

I sit myself at the shared computer booth, and start sending an email to my next hostel destination. While typing halfway, I hear someone enter the door, and start speaking to the receptionist, whom I'm back-facing.

"Hi, is there a girl from _____ staying in this hostel?" he asks. (Again, I'm dropping the specifics.)

Momentarily, it doesn't register. I'm sure i'm the only girl from my country in this entire hostel, but I don't think things can be this good... or can they?

"Yeah she's right there," she replies.

3 seconds pass. He stands next to me. "Hello," he says, smiling.

Oh my god kill me right now.

"Hello!"

********
October 3rd, 1am ++

We hung out and had a great time. I like him even more than before. Especially when he laughs. He's funny, not in the traditional funny sense, but he's funny. I think he's funny because he doesn't even try to be funny. Sometimes he sounds like an old wise man, and it cracks me up. He has a good heart. Behind his almost-serious disposition, what with his fact-listing about cars and countries, and his philosophies and beliefs, there is a hint of cheekiness. Subtle. Dormant?

We exchange email adds and a hug. I do hope we'll meet again.

'Cos I'll really like to know you better.

The end.

i'll remember u - part 1

Great, I think. Just great.

First some guy snatches my luggage away from me and demands money, and now the train isn't budging. And it has been that way for the last two hours or so. The passenger across me sighs in exasperation, and we continue chatting anyway.

Then it hits me - I'm never gonna reach the train station in time.

"Shucks, I have to make a phone call. I'm so dead," I tell him. And bingo! Turns out I was right, no idiot-proof pick-up service at the train station after 8pm. By the looks of this immobile train, I'll be lucky if I get there at all. But no, there is no way I'll be there before 9pm. I brace myself mentally for all the dangers I'm going to expose myself to, en route to the only safe haven I know in this foreign land. Who knows what lurks in the dark?

Great.
****
Finally. It was a torturous 3 hours. And here I am, weary and crabby, luggage in tow. The floor is glistening from the slight drizzle, the air a cool misty comfort.

I take it all in, and ask around for the directions to the bus-stop. I'm trying hard to make sense of the scribbling on my notebook - which bus to take, which direction, where to stop.

Okay, I can do this.

So I march, determined, and park myself in front of the bus stop. And I wait. The rain hits lightly, and gradually, it stops.

Then my bus arrives. My heart leaps when I recognise the number on the front. Thank you so much, I utter, a silent prayer of thanks to my guardian angel. Phew.

I drag my luggage up the bus, and survey around for the ticket machine I read about in the guidebook.

"Oh there it is," I say to myself, and inch over to the centre. Someone else is trying hard to punch his ticket too, so I guess I'm not the only traveller.

But he isn't very successful, it seems. I try my luck with the machine, too.

The lady at the front interjects this sad scene, telling us that the bus driver has turned the bus engine off and gone for a little break. Or something. At least this is what I think.

But, oh.

This is when I turn around and see him. My heart stops beating for 3 seconds, I think. It is a weird feeling, like a zap up your spine. He isn't drop-dead gorgeous, but he's just.. him. Okay fine, he is cute. I'm trying to place him in my memory. Have we met? I wonder. Obviously not. But it's that feeling, familiar yet foreign, like you know there's something when there's really nothing.

I am thinking too much.

"Where are you going to?" he asks. And I answer. He fishes out a crumpled piece of flyer, and shows it to me. "Yeah, I'm going there too. Which hostel are you staying at?"

Please let it be the same hostel.

And so the conversation continues. Along the way, we discover that we've got some pretty interesting similarities. And I am looking at him the whole time, trying to see him from different angles, wondering how one person can look like so many people at the same time.

*****
Fast-forward a little. That night ended not quite as expected. As it turned out, our hostels weren't quite the same. We walked up the hill, and I reached mine first, but he didn't know where his was. So without knowing his name, I decided to go into mine first, since the door was already open, but not before asking quickly if he would like to let me know where he would be. He asked me how he could do so, and I told him to come back when he found it, cos I'd be waiting. There was a slight drizzle then, I hurried in. I didn't know if he did come back, but I waited, like I said, right after I was done with the paperwork, and I never saw him. Urgh, I thought. I forgot about it, and retreated for a shower.

But it didn't end there.

-end of part 1.

mumblings of a dreamer/realist/modernist - this love

if you would allow me to indulge just once more,
i'll say it,
and i'll say it many times over:
my heart is with you
and it cradles the simple happy end
that once felt so true.

so through it is,
tell it to the heart that beats with yours
More pulsating
than the rage of the stormy seas.
oh, the rage
left the debris scattered along the shore
the debris which
got under my skin,
under my pores.

actually
these make no sense to me
i 'b'd the winamp playlist
while silently thinkin
"let the next song title be the definitive"
and on came Maroon 5
with "this love"
& so this love it shall always be.

Fleeting.

Right about now
I would have been laughing
To your sounds.
Yeah right about now.
I turned on the tap
Scalding hot water ouch
Oh it turned cold.

Back to you now.
It must be so easy for you.
Letting.. letting..
Yeah back to you now.
This time yesterday it sang
The heart chirped merry
Oh then it chipped.

I digressed.
Was this your love for me?
These fleeting moments.
Yeah I digressed.
How are you today?
You must be better
Better than yesterday.

Some time tomorrow
I wouldn’t be thinking about you
Right about now.
Yeah some time tomorrow.
Midnight would bring a new sun
The end of nothing
The start of

Everything.
Yeah, everything.

Hello, this feeling.

This feeling. There’s this swirl inside, and then the light-headedness. The heart palpitates. The sweat beads squeeze their way out of the pores. All smiles. The butterflies. The happiness of anxiety. The heart disengages from the age-old anchor. Freedom. The veins are re-energised; the senses recharged. You’re the anti-gravity, the catalyst.

But the mind resists. No, not now. Not ever. It’s the plunge before the waterfall. It could hit rock-bottom. Or it’ll be endless.

Oooh. Sticky.

in love with - The Afters

I've decided to do away with the whole 'Squashed' thing, since well, i doubt i'll have much of me left to do mixes/lists. Or maybe 'squashed' is too much a reminder of how things are these days. I don't love music any less, that's for sure. I just think life is getting to be more of an uphill climb lately. One of those periods in life when u feel like nothing's going right.

But griping aside.

I stumbled upon this song by The Afters just a couple hours ago. Pretty simple song, but i like it anyways. I know i haven't written for some time (uhhm, i think blogspot has a major part to play. i kinda contemplated switching to some other self-publishing sites for a while), so here's a lil sth to bring those squashed memories back.

The Afters - Ocean Wide